Turning back the clock to 2000 today. I had just turned 40 years old and it wasn't going to slow me down one bit..... Will you please come along with me on this journey. We will start with that 1st day, oh the excitement across the world. Celebrations, dreams, ambitions and we attended the most beautiful wedding ever that day. I personally had set very attainable goals for my career and family life.
Here we go, after the wedding it was time to dive in. I worked as a program manager in the aircraft manufacturing industry. I had worked so hard to bring together the perfect team, we were filling the walls with awards on our performance from major aircraft companies such as Boeing, Cessna, McDonald Douglas, Northrop Grumman etc.
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| My winning team |
I was feeling great, physically fit and probably at my highest point as having self-esteem to accomplish anything I set my mind to do. I was able to travel to many large companies and meet their VIP's. Wow, this little Arkansas girl really had the world by the tail. I never dreamed I would be doing these great things in my career but honestly, I worked my butt off to get them.
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| Here I am on Rodeo Drive while on a business trip in California |
In this industry back in that time, it was a man's world with glass ceiling that seemed unbreakable, but I was stubborn, determined and downright competitive to a fault. If the other Program Managers were coming in at 6:00 AM, I would come in at 5:AM, if they stayed till 6:00 PM, I waited till the last left and would leave. I failed to think back then, they were going home and kicking back in a recliner while their wives prepared their dinner. I was going home to my other life, being a wife and mom. Laundry, dinner, errands and a very active teenage daughter involved in many activities. Did I ever once think one thing about stress, no I didn't. With every award my paycheck was growing, all of a sudden everything turned into the almighty dollar. I am ashamed now at how I worshipped this money and things I did to earn it. The worst one was calling my daddy one Sunday morning as he got ready for Church and I was sitting at my desk at work to tell him Happy Father's Day. Today, I do not even like that person I had became.
Summer brought big plans, my girl child was competing in a pageant that she had been invited that was for highly academic achievers so in the midst of 12 hour days, we prepared for that. I was also planning a trip to Aruba with my best friend ever and this was another dream to come true for me, getting out of the country for the first time.
July 14, 2000, Laci and I traveled to Fort Smith for her pageant, she sat in the car while I checked in. Standing in line, I felt someone come up from behind me and grab me and squeeze me so very hard that I couldn't breathe. I turned and no one was there but I started sweating profusely. I had no idea what had happened but it did freak me out. When I got to the car Laci could tell something was wrong, not to worry a 17 y/o, I told her it was just hot in there.
The weekend went by and to be honest, I truly can't remember anything about it. I must have just went through the motions. Monday morning I was at work at 5 AM, as my team began to arrive, I had a couple of different ones ask me what was wrong, that I looked horrible. I felt fine, of course I felt fine......I was NOT going to NOT feel fine....how dare anyone say anything, I had no time to even think about how I felt.....I was aiming for perfection on July 17, 2000...........to be continued.
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