Identity Crisis

I have put off blogging because the only thing I could think of to write about was Identity Crisis and I am all about funny, goofy and entertainment.  I prefer to seek out that side of my personality and avoid the serious side.  After a couple of weeks,  I reckon the Good Lord wants me to admit to Identity Crisis as it may help someone else with what they go through.


I am in my second month of being 55 years old and continue to try and figure it out.  I don't know why this year has such an impact, none of the other 54 did. Of course the old grey mare ain't what she used to be in a lot of areas but honestly on the inside I feel 25 and I like it.  Do you notice I am still avoiding the subject here, see this is what I do.

Identity Crisis,   no I am not having one,  I know where I stand and WHOSE I am more than ever, the situations are just different than what I was spoiled too.  I have such a desire to seek God first and not be distracted.  So of course there are many distractions that make me question myself.   I guess along this life I have stood beside or followed behind others and been in a very comfortable zone.   I would say that is a blessing but it leaves me vulnerable in times such as we are in now.   I have learned its incredibly hard to take a stand when you are in minority,  my heart has been softened for those Christians living in Israel and beyond.

When you plant your heels on what you believe to be in line with God's Word our Holy Bible, you better dig them in because we have no idea what will happen after that.   At this point in life more than ever I am trying to apply the Bible to areas more so than ever.   The more I do, the more I realize how we as Christ followers are being swayed by all the bells, whistles, humor, etc. that this world draws us too.

Social media is a dangerous place if you forget WHOSE you are, it can suck you right into dark places. That is tough to type because I love social media, it gets lonely at Belly Acres but I have to remember WHOSE I am, and what he has done for me first, and that I have a work to do, no matter who or what tries to pull me under.   Through Christ, I have found that he doesn't forsake us, when others let us down, he will send people we never realized to the firing line to hold us up and keep us from giving up.

My Bible verse that I have cherished since my near fatal heart attack in 2000 is Acts 20:24,  every time I feel the world tugging at me through peer pressure, worries, possessions etc.  I speak life over the situations with this scripture.

As I close,  if you have read this up to now, remember the Bible is our road map to everything.  We cannot be lukewarm, you know what Revelations says, he will spew us out, we are either hot or cold. 

I John 2 says Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.

Watch your itchy ears....2 Timothy 4:3 says...For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions

And last,  my prayer is that I can strive to produce good fruit so others can see Christ and what he has done through my testimony. So when you think of me, say a prayer,  I just want to finish the race and complete the task.

Matthew 7:16

Of Mice & Men-Don't SHOOT THINGS

After another calm Wednesday night  gathering with our beautiful Church ladies aka Princesses aka Brave Soldiers at our little country Church,   I must blog while it is fresh on my mind.  Maybe too fresh, not sure I can type through without a few giggle breaks.

I need you to be the camera operator and eye witness so that you will feel like you were in the room with us on Weds night.  Can you do that?  Sure you can,  grab a chair on south side of the room  with a better view of what is about to happen and join us already in progress please.  I will catch you up now.

Bible study was great, it was lead by PW (Preachers wife) because no real names will be used so they may remain anonymous.  Yeah right, hahaha.   PW sparked my interest while studying what women and children's daily jobs were in Bible times.  I have read many verses about the water well but never let it soak in that the young single women's job each day was to travel back and forth to the well to get water for the family.   I reckon if they had a big family they had to carry them big ole clay buckets several trips, not sure I would have like that.   But this is also the way they socialized and even met prospective husbands.  The men knew this is where the young maidens would be so as PW put it,  it was kind of like match.com in biblical times.  I was singing the farmersonly.com song in my head by that time.

After CC classes a few weeks ago,  as well as being aware of the mean people in our world,  I have lately tried to be aware of sounds, people and options in case of emergency.  And this has to do with what you ask? Earlier we had heard something that made us or me a little uncomfortable outside.

Wake up  over on the south side, you need to pay attention at this point.   Camera ready?  Have I mentioned in the south at most little Country Church's food is usually involved?  We have now proceeded to the long counter to put away and clean up our very healthy food from earlier.  Okay, PW was doing most of the work and the rest of us were standing across the counter watching and normal chit-chatting and still munching.    You see us munching and her over there getting her dishwater hands all soft?

AIYEEEEEEE-EYAHHHHH was the scream as PW threw her arms in the air and this is when everything went into slow motion for this granny.  1st thought- Holy Spirit had already got ahold of her and she was a shouting right there at the sink washing dishes.    My first time to see that at a sink.

EYAHHHHH-AIYEEEEE  EYAHHHHHHH  ear piercing screams from right beside me from 2 very brave young women (I thought).  2nd thought-the noise we heard outside was now looking in the window and all 3 could see them but me.  I go into my Rambo/Or Run mode.   Save'em all or save myself?  The 2 young ones had headed for the back of the room right into a corner and PW had rounded the corner hot on their trail.   All three with their hands up and screaming in harmony.  I looked at the door, watching them corner themselves, quick look over my shoulder to see if anyone had crawled through the window yet.

Normally when frightened as some already know,   I fall flat of my face, done it all my life.   But thank the good Lord for keeping me upright.  Finally over their blood curling screams I yelled "WHAT ARE YA'LL RUNNING FROM AND WHERE ARE WE GOING".  I knew they were either making a new door in the wall or was about to get in a mess over in that corner.   PW,  arms still flailing in the air screams words finally.    DEAD MOUSE-DEAD MOUSE which only made the brave young girls scream louder as one proceeded to start climbing on the table.

Shewy,   I hate mice,  even dead mice and would have done the same had I seen it but for once I was relieved.   The screams finally stopped and turned into laughter, still a frightened laughter but they weren't coming out of that corner.  Braveheart women were all trying to decide what to do, nobody was going over there.  I can be the hero, I can face my fear-  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me is what I told Nae as she and I crept over closer.   I got close enough to see its freaky little feet sticking up in the air and said "I See It" which brought on a little more running and screaming by Nae.  Welp,  I failed miserable at conquering my fear of mice,  NOPE couldn't do it.  But now what were we going to do?

A Pastor's work is never done,  bless his heart,  PW said I am calling the Pastor he can come get rid of it.  I can only imagine what his thoughts were being called after 9:00 pm to come to Church to eulogize a dead mouse and calm the fears of the women.   But I didn't stick around,   I got to thinking about it having family there.

Fear Not or Be Not Afraid is in the Bible 103 times.   I am thinking the Princess Warriors might want to re-study all 103 times and apply them to seeing dead mice.   And who says Church is all serious?  Ha......go to a little country Church near you, its always eventful.

Drugs, Preachers and Denominations

One thing that stands out in my first 18 years of life was all the drugging.  Week nights, weekends, it didn't matter I was drug to Church, I was drug to baptizings at the creek,  then singings on Saturday night and up early and back to our Church on Sunday morning.   Seemed like a split second and I was drug to Sunday night service.   Seemed like a revival was always somewhere close,  even tent revivals that we knew nobody, but I was drug there by a family that saw the importance in it.

I never attended nor understood why/what denominations was all about.  Our little Church was non-denomination and till this day,  I still don't know nor need to know.  All I need to know about that word is that its the value of a coin or a bill.  In my non-denominational little brain, Heaven isn't going to have subdivisions for all that stuff.  It's all about celebrating at the feet of Jesus and oh the praising that will go on someday.

I never thought I paid much attention during Church as I was drug around but I realize seeds were sown and I do remember more than I thought.   I remember everyone was called either Brother/Sister at Church.  I remember everyone sat down and stayed down,  we got the stink eye if we ever needed to go to the bathroom.  The Church was God's House and treated as such.  There was no chit-chatting when the preacher was up there either,  you would get embarrassed because he would call you out, no matter if you were a kid or old.  I am sure glad of that now because I did learn more than one would think a 10 year old would.

We didn't have Children's Church and for this I am thankful.  We learned early how to behave in big Church because we certainly didn't want to go outside.  I have my opinion on that but will keep it to myself,  I do believe nursery's for toddlers is good but then....... back to my story,  Oh oh oh, how straight I would sit when the Spirit would move and that Preacher would start walking the aisles for clapping his hands.  I remember Brother Joe Taff,  dad to Russ Taff,  Imma telling you,   I never seen someone turn as red when he was giving us the gospel.  

Brother Ollie was the preacher when I was little and he would point and say ya'll better listen to what the Lord's gave me.   He said nonsense to me,  like "there is coming a day soon when the Bible says "Good will become bad,  dark will become light and bitter will become sweet".    I felt like a tiny Einstein because I maybe on only 7 years old but I new the difference between good and bad, light and dark and sure knew what was bitter......that persimmon tree across the road.

I remember everyone Amen'ing him and me being so confused.   Then as a teen,  Brother Glen become our preacher,  oh he was a good one.   Man,  not only could he Preach but he could sing too.   And there was no scripted Church service, we might have alter call in the middle of a song.   That was how the Spirit lead our Church then and that is how the Church I attend now is done. "Thank you Jesus"  Every once in a while, Brother Glen would preach that same silly thing about how someday soon,  that some would call evil good and good evil and all that stuff.  Again,  I was a teenager so far from perfect but I knew good from evil.  why did these men keep preaching that stuff?

Now here I am running 55 years old and remembering their sermons and thinking WOW,  they are all gone on to receive their eternal rewards yet their words,  I see becoming true.   I would still rather think they were just being a little crazy because everyone knows good from evil but I can't say that now.   If you want to study more on what I remember them preaching,  2 Timothy 3 and Isaiah 5.

Not sure why I blogged this, but parents take your kids to Church and I mean big Church,  they might seem  like they aren't getting it, but they are retaining it and will need it someday.  Bible says so in Proverbs 22:6.   Study the scriptures and be on your toes about the end times and don't get yourself caught up in letting the world teach you well ..... its really not that bad.  Let God and his Holy Word tell you what is good and evil, do not conform to the patterns of this world.

I want you to know I am not perfect,  no one is,   I make so many mistakes but I am trying and sometimes I fail but God knows my heart.  I am trying to grow closer to Him daily so that he can use me for His Will, not mine.   God bless all who read this.